Some musician jokes Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek? A. No one would look for them. Q. How can you tell if a stage is level? A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth. Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch? A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster without hitting the sides. Q. How do you get two guitarists to play in unison? A. Shoot one. Q. How can you tell if a cello is out of tune? A. The bow is moving. Q. Why are musician jokes so short? A. So the bassist can understand them. Q. If a conductor and a watermelon are both dropped from a 24 story building, what hits the ground first? A. Who cares? Q. How can you keep your violin from being stolen? A. Keep it in the violin case.