A chef complains that the kitchen is too smokey and the owner offers a free meal to anyone who can solve the problem. So a farmer walks into the restaurant and sits his young son on a bar stool. The boy is wearing a John Deere t-shirt, a Massey Fergusson jacket and a Ford cap. The farmer then turns to his son. ""Son""', he says, ""it's time for the truth. John Deere tractors are nothing but a pile of shit. Massey Fergusson tractors are even worse, they're just a steaming pile of horse shit. And …

Gandhi and two other guys die and end up in an unknown place far from the Gates of Heaven... And the three of them are greeted by an angel. The angel says to them ""Heaven is pretty far from here and you're probably gonna need a vehicle. I'm going to give you one depending on how many kids you had in your lifetime."" The first guy only had one so the angel gave him a Lamborghini. The second guy had seven so that angel gave him a Ford Model T. And Gandhi had to walk all of the way. When the other…

Appalachian couple get married Jethro and Ellie Mae get married, and after the wedding party they happily drive off in his 68 Ford truck for their honeymoon. But about an hour later, Jethro storms back into his parents house, angrily slamming the door. The father asks what's going on, and Jethro says, "The weddins off!" The father says, "Well, now sit down there young fella. I don't understand it. Uns had a nice big weddin, all the clans showed up, you youngins seem perfect for each other, …

My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?