A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Desert Storm and his plane was hit. He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. He drank the whiskey on the …

A man calls his house and his young daughter answers the phone... "Hello?" "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Bob." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Bob." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now." "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that daddy just drove …

The Smith family is having a reunion. The matriarch is a 110 year old woman who is confined to a wheelchair and cannot speak, so she uses a pen and notepad to communicate. While watching her great grandchildren play, she begins to leeeaaan to the left. So cousin Joe lifts her back up and puts a pillow on her left side. Later she begins to leeeaaan to the right, so cousin John lifts her back up and puts a pillow on her right side. Later, Uncle Bob approaches and asks if she's enjoying the fami…

When I was 5 my Uncle Bob asked me to sit on his lap.