A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane... and the flight attendant says, ""I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion.""

A man walks onto a plane... ... He has a dead rabbit under each arm. The stuardess turns: ""I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one item of carrion""

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said ""I've got to take you in sir. You're obviously drunk"" The wasted wino asked ""Ociffer are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"" ""Yeah buddy I'm sure"" said the copper. ""Let's go."" Obviously relieved the wino said ""That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple.""