He Takes His Golf Seriously. An elderly golfer is about to putt when a funeral procession drives by. He removes his hat, and waits for the cars to pass by. His golfing buddy turns to him and says, ""That was very thoughtful of you to do that."" He responds, ""Well, it seemed appropriate. I was married to the woman for 55 years.""

The golfer's wife A man gets into an argument with his wife because she thinks he plays too much golf. The man gets so enraged that he beats her to death with a golf club. The man is so excited to have gotten her out of his life that he runs and tells one of his golf buddies that he can now play as much golf as he wants since he beat his wife to death with one of his clubs. The golf buddy thinks for a moment then asks ""what's par?""

So an old buddy of mine went to prison... He had just gotten married actually, and one of the first things he did as a newly married man was go for a round of 18 holes with his buds. Okay...they also got a few drinks afterwords. When he got home, golf bags in tow, his wife confronted him: ""I can't believe you'd go out all day after we're married, and to golf! and... you reek of booze!"" and she really keeps letting him have it, until he can't take it anymore. He's always had a temper, but this …

A man and his wife are playing golf . . . on an old country course. The man shanks a drive on the back nine and his ball ends up next to a barn. He gets the bright idea to open both the barn doors and hit through rather than hitting around. He whacks the ball and it flies into the barn. It then hits a beam and ricochets back out, hitting his wife in the head and killing her instantly. A year or so later he's playing the same course with a couple of buddies. On the same hole, he shanks his drive …