There was a friendly soccer match between the employees of Boeing and Airbus. How did the referee die? He blew the whistle at the end so Boeing killed him.

Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field