Dead-Baby Jokes What is funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board? Dart-boards don't bleed. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar? About 500 calories. Why did the family take the dead baby al…

A young cowboy walks into a bar... As his eyes adjust to the light, he sees an old cowboy across the room slouched over, staring into a bowl of chili. He walks up and says, ""Well if you're not going to eat it, mind if I do?"" So the old cowboy slides it across the table and, hungry from a long day on horseback, the young cowboy starts wolfing it down. Near the end of the bowl, he see's a dead mouse lying there on the bottom and absolutely pukes his guts out right back into the bowl. The old cow…

Three men are lost in the woods and they grow very hungry. After sitting around listening to their tummies rumble the first man gets up on his feet and says ""That's it! I'm going out there and getting us some food!"" After an hour he comes back with a dead rabbit in his hands. ""Holy cow!"" the other two say, ""How'd you find that rabbit!"" ""Well, I followed the tracks and found a rabbit"" the first man explained. The next day the second man goes out to fetch the trio some grub. Three hours la…

The usual depressed Redditor lay on the train track A Redditor is lying across the railway tracks with a bottle of whiskey and fried chicken within reach. A passerby asks why he is doing so when a train might come across at any moment. Because I want to commit suicide, replied the Redditor. The passerby then asks about the food and drink nearby. ""Why not? You can't rely on trains running on time any more. You don't expect me to die of hunger and thirst, do you?""