Ever seen a horse with a carrot on a stick dangling over its head? Last night on the treadmill's TV, I saw an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken.

In Louisville, KY where bars are open till 4 am. Here's my slogan for them: "Get upchucky in Kentucky."

No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss.

ME: I hate the Kentucky Derby. You get all dressed up and excited and the whole thing only lasts 15 seconds WIFE: Oh is that right