Friend: Bro, those were sick fireworks! Sorry about your eye, but I think the ER may be busy. Me: No worries, my wife made reservations.

My wife came into my room at the ER and started unplugging stuff and flipping switches until she realized that I had just sprained my ankle.

Two with sausage and meatballs, two without A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. ""But how will I let you know the baby is born?"" she asked. He replied, ""Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses."" Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six mo…

An elderly woman visiting her Doctor While at the Doctors office she starts talking about how depressed she had been ever since her husband had passed. She asks the Doctor ""if you were going to end it all how would you do it?"" The Doctor puzzled about the question but can see the pain in her weepy eyes. He replies ""oh I don't know, I guess a shotgun to the heart would guaranty the outcome."" The Doctor finishes up the exam and the elderly woman is released by the Nurse. On the way out the eld…