I ran an ice cream shop near the Thames in London... We had great business because we were stationed right outside Scotland Yard headquarters. In fact, we were so well-known that we were actually picked from all other shops in London to host Britain's first-annual Ice Cream Seller's contest. Over a thousand people turned up, and they actually had to cordon off part of the Thames with a buoyed police rope due to the traffic we were generating! The events ranged from Fastest Scoop to Best Waffle C…

Driving in Scotland (First post here, let me know if i need to fix anything please). An American decides to visit Scotland. While there, he decides to rent a nice car to explore the country. Not long on the road he is pulled over by a police officer. The officer approached the vehicle and asks the American, ""I don't the way you were drivin' back there. Have you been drinkin' today?"" ""No officer I haven't."" To which the officer replies, ""Well, I guess ya wouldn't mind proving yurself with a …

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?