*approaches girl in bar* *passes right through her* *i've been dead for 73 years*

God: make alcohol really fun Angel: haha ok God: but it makes them stupid Angel: i dont know if- God: and if they have too much they die

If there isn't an open bar at my funeral then count me out, I'm not going!

[quietly opens a beer] Funeral Director: seriously?! Me: oh sorry [reaches into cooler and hands him one]