Why was everyone in the Soviet Union so good at driving manual? Because they were afraid of Stalin.

Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia... [Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union] Have you tried Stalin bacon before? *I'm not sure.. I don't think so...* Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.

Why does Putin always take the bus to work? His car is always Stalin