Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees ""Donald Trump Sucks"" written in urine across the snow. Well, he's is pretty ticked off. He storms into his security staff's HQ, and yells ""Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Whoever did it had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where we…

A White House aide tells Donald Trump that one hundred people will attend his next event. ""A hundred thousand people?"" Trump asks, ""Do we even have enough room for 1.5 million people?""

Donald Trump is looking to paint the White House... Donald Trump is looking to paint the White House. He asks Chinese contractors how much they would charge. They say 3 million. He asks European contractors how much they would charge. They say 7 million. He asks Ecuadorian contractors how much they would charge. They say 10 million. Trump goes back to the Chinese and asks ""why 3 million?"" The Chinese say ""1 million for the paint, 1 million for the labor, and 1 million profit."" He then goes t…

Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin... Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November.