Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken.

If you order a salad in Texas, you get a bowl of ranch dressing with a chunk of iceberg lettuce, 89 croutons & a chicken fried steak on top.

Say at cat 'Im rubbin ur belly' while rubbin belly, 'Im pattin ur head' while pattin head, else never learns anatomy, becomes Texas senator

A cowboy rode into a dusty old town... ...and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head without even looking and fired at the ceiling. Which one of you cow'rdly sidewinders stole my hoss!?"" he yelled. No one answered. ""Alright, I'm gonna have anotha beer,…