A crying man walks slowly along the frontier. He finds a deep hole with a bucket beside it, and lowers the bucket in to pull out some water. While he's having a drink, a quivering voice comes from the hole. ""What's the matter friend?"" The man, surprised, wipes his eyes and replies, ""My brother Harvey and I moved out here to find an unique piece of land to call our own, but all the land out here's so common. Anything unusual has already been claimed. Then on top of that, Harvey fell off a clif…

The only joke I can ever remember. There's a mental hospital and every weekend the patients are allowed to go home and visit their families if they are able to properly answer a question by the gate steward at the gate. One day, a man approaches the gate steward with a carrot on a piece of string. ""Morning Harvey, are you ready to go home? Just gotta answer one question"". Harvey dangles his carrot on the piece of string happily: ""Ask away."" ""What have you got there in your hand?"" Harvey ho…

Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day.. Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, "Vat sims to be ze problem?" Harvey says, "I'm not sure, but it doesn't go 'tick-tock, tick -tock' anymore. Now it just goes 'tick...tick...tick.'" The old man says, "Mmm-Hm!" and steps behin…

I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.