Rekt em, damn near killed him! Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was. ""Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass,"" he said. She said, ""Rectum."" ""Wrecked him?"" Johnnie said. ""Damn near killed him!""

Under pressure, Air Bud's math teacher changes grade from "he's a dog" to a 70

[Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]

Me: Hello Teacher: Hello M: How's my kid doing in school? T: How's my kid doing in school? I hate parrot teacher conferences