Two hikers are walking through the woods... when one gets bitten in the nuts by a snake. The other hiker says ""Stay here, I'll run back to town and find help."" The hiker finds a doctor who is busy delivering a baby, but tells the hiker he can simply suck the venom out of the wound. He runs back, and his friend asks him what happened. He says,""The good news is I found a doctor, the bad news is you're going to die.""

How to get rid of a tapeworm A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to try a new doctor who had just moved into town. After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm. ''Oh, is that bad? How can I get rid of it?'' asked the man. ''Come in tomorrow and bring a hard boiled egg and a lemon cookie,'' said the doctor. When he saw a puzzled look cross the man's face, the doctor said, ''Trust me. I'm the …

Knock knock... ""Knock knock"" 'Who's there?' ""Doctor"" 'Doctor who?' ""I plan to take that answer to my grave!""

Man needs a new left eye. He goes to the doctor who tells him that with the miracle of modern science, as soon as there's a donor eye available similar to his current eye colour, he'll be able to get a transplant to replace his current glass eye. A few months go by and no news from the doctor, but as luck would have it, the man is driving down the road late at night when he sees a bike is smashed up by the side of the road. Pulling over quickly he sees that the biker is definitely deceased, but …