DRIVING ON HIGHWAY Wife: You just missed a right. Me: Thanks babe you just MRS right.

a cop pulls over a innocent old women on the highway the officer says mrs. do you know how fast you were going when he notices a small glare coming from the open glove compartment. then the officer says ma'am are you carrying any weapons with you today. the old women says yes, i have a glock in the glove compartment, a 45 under the seat and a 22 caliber pistol in my purse. the officer then precedes to ask what she is afraid of. the innocent old lady says ""not a damn thing"".

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. I've suspected for some time now that my Mrs has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always ""Just some friends from work, you don't know them"". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car roun…

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor. ""Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."" The Editor scolded the new reporter ""This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!"" The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report…