Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… - My friend received a predeclined credit card in the mail. - CEO's are now playing miniature golf. - Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. - McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. - Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. - Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. - A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico. - A picture is now only worth 200 words. - The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas …

How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns.

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect.