Walking around Washington, Joe Biden sees Donald Trump and says to him... Hey Donald! (says Joe Biden), I know I'm an ugly, bumbling, retard, with ridiculous hair plugs, so I've long since accepted that women don't find me attractive. But for your whole life, the most beautiful women have always loved you. I've wanted to know what it was like to be a man who actually gets the women. Trump says, well... you spend every day in the White House with Barack. I mean, sure he's an idiot, hates America,…

Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union, just like in the USA? Yes. In the USA you can stand in front of the White House and shout ""Down with Reagan!"", and you will not be punished. Equally, you can stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell ""Down with Reagan!"", and you will still not be punished. (Alternate punchline: Yes, but the USA also permits freedom after speech.)

Bill Clinton is so exited about the possibility of being in the White house again, He too has started wearing a hat on the campaign trail. It says : Make America fellate again.

My favorite Yakov Smirnoff joke about the good old USSR. In America you find the party. In Russia the party finds you. Edit: in reference to the soviet party