American tourists visit Russia ... and decide they want to take a hike in a genuine Russian forest. While hiking, they suddenly encounter a huge bear. The bear starts chasing the tourists, who are running for their lives. Not far from there, there is a campsite where a group of Russian campers is chilling out and drinking vodka. Suddenly they see screaming crazy Americans running over the campsite, tipping over the picknick tables, breaking bottles, and then disappearing into the thick woods.…

Reports are now emerging from Russia that Putin rode the meteorite while shirtless, steering it away from a box of kittens.

I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway.

Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup.