And you think the queen isn't to be blamed? King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried about leaving his beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely Knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something. A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard wa…

King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade. Before doing so he called to Merlin to devise a cunning chastity belt for Guinevere. The belt contained a miniature guillotine. Upon his return, he called to his Knights of the Round Table and had them all strip from the waist down. One by one, he went to each knight and shook his head, telling all those whose members were missing to get out of his sight. That is until he came up to Lancelot. Seeing that Lancelot was intact, he exclaimed, ''I kn…

King Arthur is heading off to war, but he's a bit worried about Guinevere alone in the castle with some rowdy knights. So he goes to Merlin who shows him a chastity belt. The problem is it has a large hole in the most important spot. ""This won't work,"" he says. Just then Merlin takes a stick and inserts it through the hole. Whap! A blade comes down and cuts the stick in half. ""Perfect,"" he says. After the King returns he lines up all the knights and makes them drop their britches. Everyone i…

[Request] Drinking or medieval jokes. Super bonus if both. They can certainly be offensive. I'll start. Going on a medieval pub crawl and offensive and/or drinking jokes get you to the head of the line at each bar. I'm hoping you can keep me in the front and my fellow crawlers entertained. But this is r/jokes, so here's ~~one~~ two to get us started: A king was preparing to ride off on a quest. Before he leaves, he locks up the queen with a chastity belt and calls in his most trusted knight and …