It was two o'clock in the morning... ...and a husband and wife were sleeping when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, ""Hello? (paused for a few seconds) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?"" and slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, ""Who was that?"" The husband replies, ""I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear tonight.""

It's two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife are asleep, when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello?... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" - - and prompty slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies. "I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi.

*getting married Priest: will you love & honor her? Me: I will Her: [whispers to priest] Priest: and leave your phone unlocked? Me: I'm out