An American visiting the U.K ....... has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn’t help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland? They sneer at him and the one says it’s Wales! So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?

These exchanges were recorded verbatim by court reporters and published in the book, "Disorder in the American Courts". ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? WITNESS: How would I know? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his slee…

What lawyers say in court ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? _________________________ ___________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ. _______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _____________________________…

The Irishman and the three beers An Irishman moves to the us, on his first day he goes looking for a bar and finds one he likes once he enters he orders three beers, he drinks the beer, pays and leaves. He keeps doing this for a week then the bartender asks him: * Sir why do you always drink three beers at once instead of ordering one beer at a time? To what the Irish answers: * Well my brothers and I used to have a daily beer back in Ireland and now that live here I drink mine and one for e…