Every time I text this guy, he replies with "Sorry, I'm driving." It's been a few days. I'm guessing he's probably made it to Mexico by now.

Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now.

There was a tragedy in Mexico.. It was a two car pile up 40 people died. Got any other funny jokes guys?

So a police officer stopped a car at the roadblock ... and he said to the driver: ""Congratulations, you happened to be the 10,000th person to pass by this area and you win $10,000, now can you tell me what are you going to do with it?"" The driver replied: ""I am going to buy a driving license since I don't have one yet."" The woman sitting beside him quickly said: ""Officer, ignore this idiot, he was drinking too much just now."" Then the guy sitting behind them sighed: ""I told you you won't …