[Budapest airport] IMMIGRATION: So what is your purpose for visiting Hungary? ME: [holding huge bag of marbles] I wanna see the hippoes.

"My brother's coming over for dinner." Ugh, is he still talking only in country names? *brother walks in* "Chad Hungary. Jamaica Turkey?"

From an old National Lampoon record A guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his first act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his second act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. Just then, a guy in the audience says, I think I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first act. The man says, not lik…

Don't know why some countries have food problems If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan.