I've just found my iPhone autocorrects "cunt" to "Cynthia." Which means somewhere in Steve Jobs' past is a woman with one HELL of a story.

Steve Jobs dies and goes to Purgatory (Heard this way before he died) Eventually St. Peter comes to him and lets him know that he's done a lot of good things for the world and caused a lot of trouble, so they're not sure where to put him. He lets him get a tour of heaven and hell and let him decide where he wants to be. So Steve goes on a tour of heaven and it's nice. Not great, but nice. Clouds, cherubs, harps and all that. Then he goes down to hell and everything is beautiful Warm beaches, bea…

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, ""Why am I here?""... (It's not in bad taste.) After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, ""Why am I here? Certainly I've changed the world for the better through an innovative technological revolution."" ""That's quite true,"" says Satan. ""You belong 'upstairs' and I'm only borrowing you for a few days. But see, whenever new evil-doers land in hell, they're presented with a brand new 17 inch MacBook Pro with quad-co…

Steve & Bill in Heaven Bill Gates: ""So, how's heaven, Steve?"" Steve Jobs: ""Great ! It just doesn't have any walls or fences."" Bill Gates: ""So...?"" Steve Jobs: ""So, we don't need any Windows and Gates. I'm sorry, Bill, I didn't mean to offend you."" Bill Gates: ""It's ok Steve, but I heard a rumor."" Steve Jobs: ""Oh, what rumor?"" Bill Gates: ""That nobody is allowed to touch Apples there, and there are no jobs in heaven."" Steve Jobs : ""Oh no, definitely there are, but only no-pay j…