Christmas heart good intention avoided disaster In Starbucks, waiting for my wife to finish getting her Christmas massage. Yes, I'm such a great husband. In fact, I'm also a great person. I noticed a guy without food or drink sitting in a chair near the entrance. He had a shaved head, shabby clothes, and while looking a little suspicious, I had some unexpected compassion for him. Why would I consider him when I only wanted to fuel up on caffeine and social media? By the look of this guy, I assum…

So a woman goes to the doctor because her husband has lost his libido. Woman: We haven't made love in over 6 months, and I have needs! Doctor: No problem, I have the perfect medication for him. Just take one of these little red pills, crush it up and put it in his coffee, and let me know how it goes. Three days later the doctor receives a phone call. Woman: Doctor, I did exactly what you asked, and I have good news and bad news. Doctor: What's the good news? Woman: The pill worked perfectly. I c…

Just some jokes about musicians. How do you know the stage at a concert is level? Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth. What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend? Homeless. What do floutists eat for breakfast? Flute loops. How do you tune three oboeists? Shoot 2 of them. How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb? One, they stand on the ladder holding the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped.