Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust... Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust, exclaiming: "I can't believe it's February and I'm still writing B.C. on all of my checks!"

A 'your mom' joke, from around year zero, ancient Rome: "The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. "Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?' "'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'" (I recently found my purpose in life and now I need to learn all about comedy, I thought I should start with history, this joke was unearthed by a group of historians from the UK, th…