Bring me a beer before it begins! Dad loves to tell this joke whenever he gets the opportunity: A guy comes home, takes off his coat and make his way to the living room. He turns on the tv and catches a game. He sits on his favorite couch then kick back and relax. He then adress his wife in the kitchen ""Honey! bring me a cold one from the fridge befores it begins !"" And so the wife brings him a beer from the fridge which he prompty drinks. ""Honey! an other cold one befores it begins"", the ma…

A man sits at the bar... . . . and realizes he stayed out way too late yet again. ""Dammit! I gotta go, my wife's gonna kill me!"" His drunk friend pipes up, ""Hey, no sweat. Jusht get her shome flowersh."" ""Thanks!"" The man leaves and realizes, no flower store is open at this time of night. The liquor on his brain gives him a great idea, ""I know! I'll go down on her when I get home. She loves that"" He gets home and deftly lifts the covers at the foot of the bed and eats a box lunch. Feeling…

My girlfriend and my refrigerator So after a long day at work I come home to an empty house. I proceed to the kitchen where I find a note from my girlfriend. "" this isn't working, I'm sorry but I just can't take it, I'm going yo go live with my mother"" But then I opened the fridge the light came on and the beer was cold. What the hell was she talking about?

I promise just one beer After a long day at work, a man goes home to his family to tell them he is going out for just one beer. Wife: Honey, that's fine. But I swear if you come home shitfaced after midnight again its over! Husband: I promise just one beer. And out the door he went to his local watering hole. One turned into two, and two into four, until it was last call and the man stumbled out the door and made his way home. The next morning, expecting the worst, he woke up to a note left on t…