I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: "If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me".

I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her.

I'm glad I'm not invited to Joan Rivers' funeral. She might be cremated and I hate the smell of burning plastic. Too soon?

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?! Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.