Her: You know, I hear a lot of guys are celebrating St. Patrick's Day this year with a quiet dinner at home. Me: Yea, the nursing home...

In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin. Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen.

My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email.

[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock