Why does Putin always take the bus to work? His car is always Stalin

Told by the driver of the bus we were on Driver: so you hear president obama is in the hospital right? Us: no we didnt Driver: he cant stop putin

Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...

What's going on? A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine. The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on. "Listening to music," the guy says. Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?" "Reading a magazine, of course." "How old are you?" asks the officer. "I'm 28." "And how …