THINGS I LEARNED LIVIN' IN LOUISIANA Enjoy! 1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Louisiana . 3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Louisiana . 4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. 5) Onced"" and ""Twiced"" are words.. 6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. 7) ""Jawl-P?"" means, ""Did y'all go to the bathroom?"" People actually grow and eat okra.…

Light bulb jokes How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the Diet Coke and one to call daddy. How many real men does it take to change a light bulb? Real men aren't afraid of the dark. How many militant feminists does it take to change a light bu..THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! How many Altzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side. How many attention-deficit-disorder-kids does it take to change a light bulb? Look, a bunny. Ho…

more dad-jokes (the limb-less edition) What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at your front door? Matt. The neighborhood kids came to Timmy's house and asked if he could come out to play. "Shame on you kids," says Timmy's mom. "Don't you know Timmy doesn't have any arms or legs? He can't play with you." "But we're playing baseball and we need a home base."

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fowl.