Two old ladies were discussing their husbands. One said: "I do wish George would stop biting his nails. It's such a horrible habit." Her friend said: "My Arnold used to do the same. But I eventually cured him of the habit." "How did you do that?" "I hid his teeth!" I did a gig at an old people's home. Tough crowd. They wouldn't respond to my knock-knock jokes until I showed ID. Frank Skinner