A husband and wife were sitting at a table at her fiftieth high school reunion. The husband kept staring at a drunken guy sitting alone at a nearby table and eventually he asked his wife: "Do you know him?" "Yes," she replied. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he started drinking right after we split up all those years ago, and apparently he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" exclaimed the husband. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long!" I've never understood why some people beat their wives. I mean, that's like keying your own car. Jimmy Carr